Calm Places

from by Natalie Holmes

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      £1 GBP  or more

     

about

Although Calm Places is a positive song overall, it came from a very dark place. Unfortunately it seems a lot of these realisations only happen when triggered by something negative in your life. A couple of years ago, after my longest string of headline gigs, I started suffering with vocal problems. I hoped that it was a tired throat that would heal after a week of not singing, but it persisted, and ended up consuming my life for the next 12 months. I couldn’t hold a 5 minute conversation without it hurting, I couldn’t do what I loved to take my mind off it (singing), I couldn’t socialise with friends to take my mind off it, I couldn’t go to the kitchen and ask my parents about their day without thinking about what the hell was wrong with me after two words. Friends would phone me and I wouldn’t answer because I didn’t want to be reminded of what ridiculously basic things it was stopping me from doing. It made me realise how key communication is in life, in every form!

Thankfully, I managed to get vocal therapy through the NHS, with an amazing lady called Amanda, who, despite my complete and utter downheartedness, fixed me. It was such a strange thing to ‘fix’ because it wasn’t necessarily a physical thing; a lot of it was in my head. The worrying created an endless cycle of tension around my larynx, and essentially 50% of the cure was CHILLING THE HELL OUT. I was a workaholic, and before all this had felt guilty whenever I wasn’t doing something to further my career (those of you who are self employed might be familiar with this feeling). How ridiculous that idea seems now. So here was my realisation: You have a life to be HAPPY. What else is there? You aim for goals because you know you’ll be happy when you reach them, but when the process of getting there stops you from enjoying life NOW, you need to stop and reevaluate.

While I was having these problems it saddened me to be at home, because I would see my room full of musical things and think about how I couldn’t enjoy playing. I didn’t want to do anything musical because it reminded me of this thing I couldn’t control. So, I did a few things in this time. I booked a holiday to Rome by myself, and I walked, sight-saw, ate, made friends (it seemed easier to speak when I was in a place where the situation seemed like it belonged to a different world). I spent endless time wandering around my beautiful home city of Bristol, where I finally learnt how to get around it, how everything linked up, where all the best independent cafes were. Oh and I wrote SO many lyrics.

Including this song.

So now I still worry, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel as relaxed and confident with my voice as I did before all this, but oh my gosh if it hadn’t happened I can’t imagine having missed out on this vital lesson for the soul. I’m now easing back into things bit by bit, ensuring that as much of what I do as possible is affecting me positively, and working out a balance. I really hope you like the song. :)

lyrics

It's been a long time coming
I'm far more loving than I was the other day
I've had to let the dust build up.
This wasn't how I pictured the change to happen
I blamed everything
Now I'm figuring it out

It's been a long time coming
It's been a long time coming

Yeah I'm starting to notice the spaces
I found the calm places
Shut out the noise, and be with my soul
Learning control of my body
I never saw the poison ivy grow
Pull up the roots and make it let go

I thought that everything had to be done now
Then an arrow shot me down
Now I'm feeling my way round.
Heaven looked strange
I never knew I could appreciate what it means to die
Hello angel in disguise

You've been a long time coming
You've been a long time coming

I’m a slave to my body,
But I keep it alive,
If only that care was taken with my mind.

credits

from Calm Places - EP, released April 28, 2017

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Natalie Holmes Bristol, UK

shows

contact / help

Contact Natalie Holmes

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code